I might not post for a while, dear ones.
I lost my wonderful, wonderful, wonderful sister on Thursday.
She jumped off a bridge into a ravine.
There were a million, million reasons why she was so, so, so, so, so, so, so special.
And there were a million ways that I wasn't there for her when she needed me.
And I will never heal from this.

Comments

  1. LaceyAugust 17, 2014 at 2:56 AM

    Sending love and prayers for the brokenness of your heart.

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  2. bearhead03August 17, 2014 at 3:09 AM

    Prayers for you to find peace during this time of grief.

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  3. SarahAugust 17, 2014 at 3:39 AM

    Oh, Disney. Lifting up you and your family. Take all the time you need until you are ready to return here, but remember that even people who have never met you love you.

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  4. PetitRadisAugust 17, 2014 at 4:08 AM

    Love and prayers for you and your family.

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  5. ShayAugust 17, 2014 at 4:17 AM

    Sending you lots of loving and positive vibes. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss.

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  6. EvaHlín from IcelandAugust 17, 2014 at 4:22 AM

    I'm truly sorry for your loss, I'll pray for you and your family.

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  7. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 4:32 AM

    <3 all of the love to you and your family Disney. I know it's hard right now but you will heal. You have so much love and goodness in and around you.

    And that's the hard part about Mental Illness. It makes us feel that no matter what we have around us we're still fighting our own minds every day for happiness or the strength to keep going. It makes us believe that we are not worth of the help that's offered and that we're a burden to our loved ones. I lost a close friend in a similar way and spent months and months blaming myself and being angry and disappointed in myself for not doing more or not helping more. I still miss her terribly, and wish I could have done more, but I hold her in love in my heart and I know she knows.

    Please take all of the time you need,lean on your husband, embrace that beautiful daughter of yours and the two foster sons. ♥ your community will surprise you. Take the time to grieve.

    ♡

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  8. BarbaraAugust 17, 2014 at 4:34 AM

    .........hug.

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  9. Faye LewisAugust 17, 2014 at 5:24 AM

    Love and many prayers!

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  10. TanyAugust 17, 2014 at 5:31 AM

    I'm so sorry, I can only imagine how you're feeling... Do take some time to heal, my prayers are with you and your family.
    {{{HUGS}}}

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  11. Nanna ChelAugust 17, 2014 at 5:36 AM

    Oh goodness me, Disney. What can I say except....big hugs! I will be praying for you and your family.

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  12. AshleyAugust 17, 2014 at 5:43 AM

    My heart breaks for you, Disney. You and your family will be in our prayers. I know things are bleak right now but please hold on for dear life to our God and Father. We love you and are so sorry for your loss.

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  13. Michelle L.August 17, 2014 at 5:54 AM

    So very sad, I am so terribly sorry that you have lost your beautiful sister. Please take care of YOURSELF, Disney, it's important to love yourself and treat yourself gently at this time.

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  14. CatherineAugust 17, 2014 at 6:04 AM

    Sending prayers and gentle healing hugs....

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  15. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 6:13 AM

    So sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need to heal - we'll still be here when you return.

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  16. KatyAugust 17, 2014 at 6:20 AM

    oh Disney...I have no words. Sending prayers for you and your family.

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  17. ChelseaAugust 17, 2014 at 6:24 AM

    Oh my dear, I am so so sorry. What horrors for your heart to deal with- prayers for Gods grace, peace, and healing to overcome.

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  18. CristaAugust 17, 2014 at 6:26 AM

    Much love to you Disney, I pray for all of you during this time. As the one left behind from a family members suicide, I know it leaves a different kind of hole in your heart.

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  19. JeanetteAugust 17, 2014 at 6:43 AM

    Disney~ Sending love, prayers and hugs your way~

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  20. CourtneyAugust 17, 2014 at 6:54 AM

    Wishing I could send love and comfort your way. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm hoping those babies and Paige bring you some comfort and joy with time.

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  21. UnknownAugust 17, 2014 at 7:18 AM

    I am so very very sorry for your loss. Words can not say or do much at this time, I know.I also know that whatever painsdrove her to this are gone now, and it's not your fault that she did what she did. Don't blame yourself, please. I know this because I, like your sister, have depression with suicidal tendancies. It's no one's fault. The chemicals in the brain are messed up, and to be perfectly honest, living with extreme sadness every day is very difficult to do. This is in no way your fault. And know that she is at Peace and sleeps in the arms of the loving, forgiving Universe. Hugs to you andyours. Remember all the laughs and good times you had with her.

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  22. KatieAugust 17, 2014 at 7:38 AM

    I'm sending you love and prayers.

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  23. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 7:47 AM

    Praying for you.

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  24. LiesAugust 17, 2014 at 7:55 AM

    Wishing you love, strength, warmth, peace,... You and your family are in my thoughts x

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  25. The folks back homeAugust 17, 2014 at 8:13 AM

    Reading this breaks my heart. I don't know you personally, but please know that I am lifting you and your family up in prayer right now. ♥

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  26. refabulousAugust 17, 2014 at 8:13 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

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  27. BethanyAugust 17, 2014 at 8:15 AM

    Oh, bless your heart. I am so so so sorry. Death is hard, but suicide is extra hard. I, too, know this from experience. I'll send the only comfort I can send-a prayer to our Heavenly Father for your and your family.

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  28. Melissa JohnsonAugust 17, 2014 at 9:08 AM

    My love and prayers go out to you and your family. May God's spirit be with you.

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  29. Lynette @ My Craft DiscoveryAugust 17, 2014 at 9:08 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. My heart broke reading this post. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will be able to find the peace only God can bring to us in difficult times like these. Take all the time you need to work through this difficult time. Know that we are here for you if you need to write to get support.

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  30. AngelaAugust 17, 2014 at 9:19 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. This was not your fault. Praying for you and your family.

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  31. -Bess-August 17, 2014 at 9:33 AM

    Love & prayers to you, sweet Disney.

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  32. SamAugust 17, 2014 at 9:38 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  33. georgia b.August 17, 2014 at 9:52 AM

    I am so unutterably sorry and saddened for you. I am heart-broken for her and for you. I am praying for immeasurable comfort in your grief and shock. I can not imagine the pain you are in, but I do realize it must be greater than the worst I could imagine. I will constantly be praying. May the God of Comfort comfort you now. I have recently suffered loss and I know how long the pain lasts... I know that it will be such a long time that you will need support. Even though I don't know you, you have it from me until you need it no more... even if just prayer support. I will be praying for all who have been affected by such a tragic loss. Peace to you.

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  34. nest full of eggsAugust 17, 2014 at 10:03 AM

    May God give you and all those who mourn her the strength to get through this difficult time.

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  35. MaryAugust 17, 2014 at 10:16 AM

    Praying for peace and hope that can only come from God for you and your family.

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  36. Christine @ Projects Around The HouseAugust 17, 2014 at 10:43 AM

    So so sorry for your loss

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  37. Emily JonesAugust 17, 2014 at 10:47 AM

    Oh friend. There are no words to say, only prayer. Lots of prayer for you an your family. So so sorry. <3

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  38. UnknownAugust 17, 2014 at 11:10 AM

    Please have peace, I pray that the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding, be with you. He is your strength, and very present Help in time of need.

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  39. colimachiaAugust 17, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. God is near to the brokenhearted and so I will pray that you feel his nearness and can lean into Him. Please don't blame yourself. I know that is easier said than done. Be gentle with yourself. Let God comfort and hold you.

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  40. KimAugust 17, 2014 at 11:19 AM

    I cannot fathom the pain you must be feeling... prayers of love, support, healing, sustenance and strength for you and your family at this time, and always. This was not your fault. Sending love to you and yours.

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  41. RobynAugust 17, 2014 at 11:43 AM

    I don't say this lightly... I promise to pray for you and your family.

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  42. bairozanAugust 17, 2014 at 12:08 PM

    A am so sorry for your loss! You'll never heal from the pain but you should not take any blame on yourself. Where you were, you were needed. Just don't do it to yourself and your family. Let her rest in peace!

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  43. Sewing PrincessAugust 17, 2014 at 12:41 PM

    I am so sorry this had to happen to you.

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  44. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 12:58 PM

    Oh. There are no words really. Just that I'm thinking of you at this heartbreaking time.

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  45. KateAugust 17, 2014 at 12:58 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. My dad died by suicide 6 years ago. I wan to share with you what a friend who had also lost someone suddenly said to me.

    There will come a day when it's not the first thing you think about when you wake up in the mornings and it's not the last thing you think about before you go to sleep.

    I know it may not seem like that day will ever come for you (I know that's what I thought when she told me!) but I hope and trust that it will. No, you probably won't ever get over it but I do think that it will get easier and I know that Jesus can provide comfort and healing.

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  46. Molly JoyAugust 17, 2014 at 1:22 PM

    I feel your pain, as I lost my sweet five year old son on May 1st. It's such a tough road. I have blogged a bit about the journey at www.whispersofjoy.com I will be praying for you as you face the days ahead. Don't blame yourself, remember there is always Hope in Him. Reach out for The Lord and He will give you strength.

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  47. BriAugust 17, 2014 at 1:32 PM

    Sorry to hear that, Disney. Wishing you all the best.

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  48. UnknownAugust 17, 2014 at 1:44 PM

    sending thoughts and prayers

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  49. Three Birds InspiredAugust 17, 2014 at 2:00 PM

    My heart breaks for you. Offering prayers of healing and peace for you and your family.

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  50. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 2:12 PM

    So sorry for your loss... Wish I could find words strong enough to help... Will be thinking of you and your family

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  51. Leigh AnneAugust 17, 2014 at 2:28 PM

    Oh sweet Disney.......my heart breaks for you & your family! My thoughts & prayers are with you. I pray that with the Lord's strength you will be comforted.

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  52. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 3:00 PM

    so very sorry for your loss . as others have said , do not blame yourself . I too will be thinking of and praying for you and your family

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  53. Haley @ Ever Never AgainAugust 17, 2014 at 3:04 PM

    I'm so very sorry Disney. Praying for you and your family.

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  54. AliMoonGoddessAugust 17, 2014 at 3:08 PM

    BIG HUGS & thinking of you and your family. Can't even pretend to imagine what you are dealing with right now. Take care of yourself & pamper as much as you can.

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  55. ShannaMadeAugust 17, 2014 at 3:08 PM

    Thinking of you! Love and prayers sent your way

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  56. pogonipAugust 17, 2014 at 4:03 PM

    What tragic and shocking news. So very sorry for you and your family. Sending much love and healing thoughts your way.

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  57. BethanyAugust 17, 2014 at 4:41 PM

    I have no words except to say that I am praying daily for you and your family. I dearly wish I had something more to offer. May His peace and comfort be upon you and your family....

    (((((((HUGS)))))))

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  58. AlyAugust 17, 2014 at 5:00 PM

    So sorry for your loss, you and your family will be in my thoughts.

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  59. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 5:14 PM

    My heart broke for you as I read this. Praying for you and your family to journey with God to a place of peace. May you feel His hand of love and comfort as you journey.

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  60. DanielleAugust 17, 2014 at 5:18 PM

    Disney, I wish I could hug you right now my dear friend! I am so very sorry for your loss and I hope that you take the time you need to try and heal. I am sure - no I know that you were and still are an amazing sister and that you did everything you could. This is not your fault and please know you are not alone. I am praying for you and your family. xoxoxoxoxoxox

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  61. Sarah CAugust 17, 2014 at 5:30 PM

    Oh my! My heart is breaking for you and your family! I am sending you all the loving thoughts and prayers I can!

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  62. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 5:37 PM

    I never comment on blogs, but I've been a follower of yours for a long time now, so you feel like a friend, and I wanted to express my sympathies and let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. There really are no words.

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  63. Tracy RoachAugust 17, 2014 at 5:59 PM

    Oh, Disney - I'm so very very sorry. You and yours are and will continue to be lifted up in my prayers. My heart is breaking for you. I know that our precious Father can offer a far sweeter comfort than we can give here below, and I pray that He wraps you up in it. Please let myself and others in the blogging community if there's any way we can help.

    Love, Tracy

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  64. Rhonda @ home.made.August 17, 2014 at 6:17 PM

    Sending you all of my love and sympathy on the loss of your sister. I pray you find peace and know that this is not your fault...

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  65. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 6:24 PM

    My heart goes out to you. I will pray that the Lord will comfort you and your family in this time of loss and heartache.

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  66. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 6:58 PM

    Oh how heartbreaking! Prayers and love to you and your family.

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  67. violetlessAugust 17, 2014 at 7:03 PM

    i pray u will be strong and find peace to face this terrible time. hugs.

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  68. bAugust 17, 2014 at 7:05 PM

    Comfort for Mourning

    by Joyce Meyer - posted August 17, 2014

    You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness.
    —Psalm 30:11

    In Isaiah 61:2 it was prophesied that the coming Messiah would “comfort all who mourn.” In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said those who mourn are blessed for they will be comforted (see Matthew 5:4). The comfort of God that is administered by His Holy Spirit is so awesome it is almost worth having a problem just to be able to experience it. It goes far beyond any kind of ordinary human comfort.

    Let God be your source of comfort. In those times when you are hurting, just ask Him to comfort you. Then wait in His presence while He works in your heart and emotions. He will not fail you, if you will only give Him a chance to come to your aid.

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  69. BrookeAugust 17, 2014 at 7:12 PM

    love to you and your family. may your broken heart heal!

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  70. UnknownAugust 17, 2014 at 7:58 PM

    I am praying for you and your dear family.

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  71. AnnaAugust 17, 2014 at 8:19 PM

    I am so sorry sweet Disney, I hope you find peace in this difficult time.

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  72. AnonymousAugust 17, 2014 at 8:20 PM

    I'm so sorry. I can only ask God to help you and your loved ones find the peace you need...in finding that peace I hope you realise that it wasn't your fault.

    I truly mean it when I say, I love you, though I don't know you, and I hope you will be ok, though you aren't now.

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  73. NatalieAugust 17, 2014 at 8:36 PM

    Oh my goodness, I am so incredibly, very, deeply sorry. I lost a brother to suicide and there is nothing like the pain. To know what kind of pain they were in, to wonder what we could have done differently, what could have changed, etc. and then to just MISS.THEM.SO.MUCH. You are a wonderful, dear and sweet person and I know you were a positive in her life so please try to not be too hard on yourself. She had her own problems, her own path, and struggles. The Savior knows. I am praying for you and sending love. Please email me if you need to talk or anything.

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  74. CailaAugust 17, 2014 at 9:55 PM

    NO! Oh Disney, i am so, so, so sorry there aren't even words. Praying for your whole family right now!

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  75. Heather - Dollarstorecrafts.comAugust 17, 2014 at 11:28 PM

    Hurting for you. This is so painful. I'll be keeping you and your family in prayer. So sorry, Disney.

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  76. ThoeriaAugust 18, 2014 at 12:01 AM

    I only recently discovered your wonderful blog, and yet my heart aches for you and your family during this difficult time. Don't be too hard on yourself - from what I've seen in your blog you're a loving and giving person - you cannot be everythng to everyone. Her path was her's to walk xx

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  77. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 12:03 AM

    Oh No, Disney. I am so sorry. Please ask for the help you need and keep asking until you find it. God is caring for your sister. We love you.

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  78. jimjamAugust 18, 2014 at 2:03 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  79. LoreleiAugust 18, 2014 at 2:18 AM

    I'm so very sorry for you loss. My Our Lord heal your aching heart.

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  80. LilachAugust 18, 2014 at 2:26 AM

    Dear Disney,
    I'm so sorry for your loss... I'm sending you my love.

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  81. ANTİGONEAugust 18, 2014 at 3:09 AM

    so sorry and praying for your sister Disney...

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  82. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 4:21 AM

    Wow, that is such a heavy load to carry. Please take care of yourself and I am sending condolences and best wishes your way. Don't be afraid to ask for help <3

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  83. BreeAugust 18, 2014 at 4:33 AM

    So sorry for your loss.

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  84. AngelaAugust 18, 2014 at 5:24 AM

    So deeply sorry to hear such heart breaking news. Sending prayers and love your way. We will be here when you are ready to come back, whenever that may be.

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  85. IngridAugust 18, 2014 at 5:43 AM

    Recibe mi sentido pésame y mi abrazo lleno de mucha fuerza para ti y tus seres queridos.

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  86. UnknownAugust 18, 2014 at 5:54 AM

    So many thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

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  87. UnknownAugust 18, 2014 at 6:00 AM

    I hope you receive some comfort from all the ones who care about you. I was having a particularly bad day when I read your blog and it hit me like a ton of bricks. But remember she could not see beyond her pain and could not see that life keeps changing and would help with the pain. Your pain will be with you for a long . But do not turn your back on the ones who love you and need you. That would be repeating what your sister did. Your sister did think of the consequences of her actions, just the pain of the moment. Prayer will always help.

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    Replies
    1. UnknownAugust 18, 2014 at 3:37 PM

      I meant your sister did not think of the consequences of her actions, just the pain of the moment. She did not realize the pain she would leave behind.

      Delete
  88. cheryl p cAugust 18, 2014 at 6:36 AM

    so so very sorry for your heartbreaking loss. prayers for you & your family at this time.

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  89. melissaAugust 18, 2014 at 6:37 AM

    i am so sorry for your sadness. you are loved and i will pray for your entire family and for your sister in heaven. it's such sad news.

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  90. karen lAugust 18, 2014 at 6:46 AM

    You are not responsible for anyone's actions. Yes, you will always feel like you could have done more, that is love.
    Keep loving those people around you, trust God to help you through this, and remember you are loved.

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  91. Laura J.August 18, 2014 at 7:07 AM

    Please, Disney, take care of yourself. No one is at fault in these situations. Suicide is a nasty and twisted beast. Blame cannot heal. Only love can do that. And it sounds like you loved your sister very much. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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  92. bids2calvinAugust 18, 2014 at 8:31 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  93. Bethany LizetteAugust 18, 2014 at 8:43 AM

    I've never actually commented on your blog before, but I've followed you for awhile, Disney, and have always appreciated your kindness and honesty about the ups and downs of life. It deeply grieved me to hear about your sister's death and I will be praying the God brings healing and peace beyond understanding to you and your family.

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  94. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 8:45 AM

    I am so sorry. Losing a someone so special is hard.

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  95. KaityAugust 18, 2014 at 11:13 AM

    Dear Disney,
    My heart is filled with sorrow for your family. You will all be in my prayers. I pray for God to fill you with peace and comfort. I pray that you will find time to grieve and process, to find the words to help Paige through this confusing time, to feel supported and loved by those around you.

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  96. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 11:43 AM

    I will pray for you :*

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  97. Amy CornwellAugust 18, 2014 at 11:59 AM

    Disney, I'm so sorry for you and your family. I'm sorry for the tragic loss and the grief & guilt that you're feeling. Praying for peace that passes all understanding. You are loved.

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  98. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 12:26 PM

    Dear Disney, I am so sorry for your loss and for the tragic circumstances. A couple of years back we lost a member of our Church family in the exact same way and the grief and hurt was very difficult to work through. Our minister preached so movingly at her funeral, I wish I could remember properly all that he said, because it was of great comfort. I do remember he cautioned us against the "what ifs", that it was no use us telling ourselves that if we had done this, or said that, or been the other that we could have saved her. Her illness was so strong that all the love we could give her was not enough. But we KNOW our Saviour is stronger than death and that He will not allow evil to triumph. His reach is long enough to catch our beloved lost ones and gather them safe to Him. I pray that you will feel the assurance of His loving arms around your whole family as you mourn for your sister. xxx

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  99. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 12:42 PM

    Thinking of you. Bless you and your family x

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  100. Rachely AharonoffAugust 18, 2014 at 12:52 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss, May you and your family know no more sorrow.

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  101. EmilyAugust 18, 2014 at 1:34 PM

    We're all thinking and praying for you and your family and I pray that you are able to travel this dark journey in the knowledge you are loved and supported and that you can grieve the tragic loss of your sister and work through your own feelings of guilt that often comes at time like these. Thank you for always being so real and transparent and I trust that, in your hour of need, you are experiencing God's love and all of our love! xo

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  102. Eric and CarrieAugust 18, 2014 at 3:39 PM

    So very sorry for your loss. Sending my love your way.

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  103. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 4:14 PM

    (I think my previous comment was deleted). May God's agape love fill your world today even more than usual. We love you and are so sorry for your loss.

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  104. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 5:10 PM

    Praying for you, so sorry.

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  105. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 7:51 PM

    I'm so sad to see this post...very sorry for your family's loss.

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  106. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 7:53 PM

    I am so, so, so sorry. I heart is so heavy for you. I am sorry. I will pray for you and your family as you grieve this incredible loss.

    Jordan

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  107. AnonymousAugust 18, 2014 at 8:08 PM

    Disney I am so very sad to hear of your family's loss of your sister. I cannot begin to imagine the heartbreak you all must feel and I wish you to know that I am thinking of you all and praying for you as you grieve. Take care of yourself and again I am so sorry to read this post.

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  108. NicoleAugust 18, 2014 at 9:02 PM

    Disney I am so sorry! Suicide is one of faith's greatest challenges. Lost my grandpa to it and have had several really close calls with friends. I do know that God has a plan and it is never the same as mine, buy always works out better; but it can take lots of time. Love and prayers!

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  109. kristinAugust 18, 2014 at 11:49 PM

    Oh Disney I'm so so sorry. The grief that comes with suicide cuts so deeply and is so hard to heal from - and I can't imagine the horror of losing a sister to it, though I did lose an aunt a few years back. I still think of her often and feel so sad about the pain she must've felt that drove her to take her life. I hope and pray you're able to start seeing happiness and light around you again soon. You are not alone and you are absolutely not to blame! Please take care and know you're in my prayers, along with many other people. You are so loved.

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  110. AnonymousAugust 19, 2014 at 12:10 AM

    So sorry. Be well and know you are not alone

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  111. AimeeAugust 19, 2014 at 2:03 AM

    hugs x
    You will heal, but you will never forget her, or stop loving her

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  112. TiffanyAugust 19, 2014 at 8:31 AM

    Broken hearted I am sure. Very sorry for you loss, truly.

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  113. AnonymousAugust 19, 2014 at 8:34 AM

    My heart is breaking for you dear. Praying for God to wrap you in His peace and love during this time.

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  114. TeijaAugust 19, 2014 at 9:30 AM

    My heart is broken for you .

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  115. seemesew84August 19, 2014 at 10:48 AM

    I'm so sorry! My sister was near to doing that a few years ago I don't know what I would have done if she had actually done it! Whatever you do please keep talking about your feelings to someone and don't shut yourself out from others, I'll keep you in my prayers!

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  116. Em and JorgAugust 19, 2014 at 12:11 PM

    My heart breaks for you. Just knowing you from this beautiful blog, and seeing the beautiful person you are, inside and out, I KNOW you were/are an amazing sister. And that she knows you love her with all your heart. Prayers and Love to you and your family

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  117. quixoticAugust 19, 2014 at 1:54 PM

    I am so sorry, Disney.
    May the love, peace, and mercy of our Lord, Jesus Christ be with you and her soul. I love you and Jesus loves you more.
    Be assured mt prayers for you, your family, and sister.
    Romans 8: 38-39
    May God bless you and keep you

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  118. UnknownAugust 19, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    I am so so sorry, Disney. We will keep your in our thoughts and prayers. We will say a prayer for your sister.
    xo

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  119. CallipygianAugust 19, 2014 at 5:00 PM

    My condolences to your family.

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  120. CarolynAugust 19, 2014 at 8:11 PM

    You and your family are in my thoughts. I'm so sorry.

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  121. AnonymousAugust 19, 2014 at 8:48 PM

    I'm so sorry. I hope that you can find your peace someday soon.

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  122. AliceAugust 19, 2014 at 9:51 PM

    Losing a sister causes an indescribable pain that only time fades. May your family and especially the love you receive from your foster children bring you peace. None of us really know when or how we will leave this earth, we can only pray for those left behind. My prayers are with you.

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  123. LeslieAugust 20, 2014 at 3:21 AM

    Just love.

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  124. ChristaAugust 20, 2014 at 10:32 AM

    Praying praying praying. Your joy in the Lord shines through everything you do, so praying especially for His presence to surround you and your family in the days going forward.

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  125. AnonymousAugust 20, 2014 at 10:35 AM

    Prayers for you and your family, especially for the healing of your heart and peace that only He can give.

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  126. NaomiAugust 20, 2014 at 9:10 PM

    Disney, May you and your family find in The Lord and in each other the peace and comfort that words cannot convey.

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  127. Oh Sew LizAugust 21, 2014 at 4:49 AM

    I am very sorry. I will pray for you and your family. <3

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  128. AnonymousAugust 21, 2014 at 5:41 AM

    Disney,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God and the arms of your loved ones comfort you and ease the pain.

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  129. JennyAugust 21, 2014 at 6:26 AM

    My heart dropped when I read this post. I am so very sorry for your loss. Praying for your heart to be healed and for God to hold you close.

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  130. AnonymousAugust 21, 2014 at 2:11 PM

    I am so sad to read these lines. My father committed suicide when I was 18. The one thing our family doctor told us was: never ask yourself why. Depression is an illness which the medical world still does not entirely understand. All my thoughts are with you. Fiona

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  131. hayleyslittleplaceAugust 21, 2014 at 5:21 PM

    I'm so so sorry Disney.

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  132. lisacraftyAugust 21, 2014 at 8:30 PM

    Oh no Disney, I'm so sorry. The Lord is the only one to help in times like this, as you know sweet sister!

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  133. AnonymousAugust 22, 2014 at 6:55 AM

    To Disney, I'm sending you hugs and love. Praying for peace and healing.

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  134. AnonymousAugust 22, 2014 at 2:17 PM

    I am so, so sorry.

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  135. Lisa RenataAugust 22, 2014 at 8:27 PM

    Disney, sending you and your loved ones lots of love and peace. Praying for you all. Hugs.

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  136. AnonymousAugust 23, 2014 at 7:41 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss.

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  137. AnonymousAugust 23, 2014 at 7:57 AM

    I am so, so sorry. Send you and your family lot of love for the grieving and healing process.

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  138. UnknownAugust 23, 2014 at 10:54 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking about you and your family today.

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  139. imperfectly natural mamaAugust 23, 2014 at 5:26 PM

    Such terribly news, we are all with you and praying for you Disney, so sad.

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  140. AnonymousAugust 24, 2014 at 6:31 PM

    My thoughts are with you and your family. Suicide affected my family too. As heartbreaking as it is, please don't blame yourself. She knew you loved her with every being. Wishing and praying that you and your family y feel the comfort of God's peace wrapped around you. Will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  141. BrookeAugust 25, 2014 at 7:01 AM

    My heart is broken for you, Disney. Praying that you and your family feel incredibly loved.

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  142. AnonymousAugust 25, 2014 at 8:38 AM

    I am so very sorry Disney. Praying for you and your family.

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  143. MLWAugust 25, 2014 at 8:59 AM

    Disney, I love you so much! Words seem so little a comfort for what you are going through right now. Please trust in your faith, and let God carry you during this hard time for you and your family. I will email you my phone number. If you need me, I am ready to listen. Sending light and love. I am so very sorry.

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  144. DeeAugust 25, 2014 at 2:54 PM

    I am so so sorry.

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  145. AlyssaAugust 25, 2014 at 8:38 PM

    Disney, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words that will really take away the pain, but my heart is breaking with and for you. I will be praying for you and your family from the bottom of my heart tonight.

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  146. paint_pantsAugust 26, 2014 at 10:48 AM

    So sad to hear this. Praying for you and your family as you walk through loss and grief together. There aren't enough words in the world to lend enough comfort, but I'm truly praying that grace and peace will be showered on you in ways that can only be divine.

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  147. AnonymousAugust 26, 2014 at 7:02 PM

    Lets pray Disney, I followed you from a distance, never commenting on any of the blogs I follow, but your post is so heart breaking :'''''( I pray for you to find peace, peace come to Disney.........sweet Jesus hold her close and remind her of your love for her and comfort her.....there aren't enough words to express my sympathy for you......

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  148. SavvyAugust 28, 2014 at 11:35 AM

    So very truly sorry. Praying for you and your family.

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  149. AnonymousAugust 29, 2014 at 4:46 PM

    May God grant you whatever comfort there is. You are in my prayers.

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  150. valthecraftygalAugust 30, 2014 at 12:28 AM

    praying for your heart..God is bigger then the grief the pain-Im praying youll feel His comfort.

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  151. SarahAugust 30, 2014 at 6:20 PM

    Disney, I don't know if you're reading comments, but I just thought of you tonight and wanted you to know I have been lifting you and your family up whenever you cross my mind.

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  152. AnonymousAugust 30, 2014 at 8:31 PM

    Praying for you and your family...this happened in my family, too.

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  153. Andrea LAugust 30, 2014 at 9:28 PM

    Words are never enough during a time of loss. Know that so many of us are sending our love and support to you and your family.

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  154. AnonymousAugust 31, 2014 at 7:07 PM

    Your family will be in my prayers!

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  155. TrudySeptember 1, 2014 at 7:06 AM

    Disney, I am so so sorry. My prayers and thoughts will be with you and your family.

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  156. ShevySeptember 1, 2014 at 12:11 PM

    Sending you love, peace and prayers!

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  157. UnknownSeptember 1, 2014 at 6:56 PM

    I am a survivor of suicide too! I am so.. soooooo sorry about your loss. Please dont give up. There is help out there. I will pray for you and your family. Love ya girl!

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  158. UnknownSeptember 2, 2014 at 7:52 AM

    So sorry for your loss.

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  159. AllycatSeptember 2, 2014 at 10:51 AM

    So sorry to hear this tragic news, my thoughts and prayers for you and your family

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  160. CjSeptember 2, 2014 at 12:06 PM

    I just couldn't find anything to say... so... let love heal you all...

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  161. AnonymousSeptember 2, 2014 at 7:42 PM

    I'm so so sorry. Praying for you and your family that God will really hold you all in this really hard time.

    Laura

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  162. UnknownSeptember 2, 2014 at 11:04 PM

    You are so loved by God and many others. Give your self freedom to grieve and time to heal. Praying for you and your family

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  163. LindsaySeptember 4, 2014 at 9:58 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. Truly so sorry. May the Lord bless you in your time of need.

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  164. Abbie_normalSeptember 6, 2014 at 9:39 AM

    I read this post the day it was shared, but didn't comment until now. I felt a bit like Job's friends (before they turned sour) who sat for 7 days and nights with him not saying anything because what can one say? I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine what it's like for you and your family. You've been in my thoughts and prayers. I hope some good comes out of this tough time, and I'm sorry for it. Much love!

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  165. Very ShannonSeptember 9, 2014 at 8:17 AM

    Oh Disney. My heart is with you and your loved ones. I'm so behind on blog reading and just saw this. Please know I'm thinking of you and your family during this time. I'm so sorry. Sending lots of love your way. Let me know if there is anything I can do. Stay strong my love.

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  166. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2014 at 4:46 PM

    Long time reader--first time commenter. I am so, so, so sorry for your loss! I lost my mother to cancer at the beginning of this summer. She would have been 64 next month. I am sobbing right now with you. This news is heart-breaking. May God bless and comfort you as you try to live life after loss. Many kudos to you on the party and fun you were able to shower on your niece and nephew. What a blessing they are... and how blessed they are to have you! May God reward you! I will be praying for you and your family. I also pray that all works out according to God's will with regard to your foster children and their unique situations. -Emily =)

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  167. AnonymousSeptember 15, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    I've been away from the blogging world for awhile, so I am just seeing this now. My heart is hurting for you and your entire family. I am sending thoughts of love and healing for you all.

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  168. heathersSeptember 15, 2014 at 11:27 PM

    I just read this tonight. I am so very sorry. I pray God fills your heart with peace, love and comfort like only He can. May healing come to you and your family as you walk through this painful season.

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  169. Rebecca PelletierSeptember 20, 2014 at 3:58 PM

    I just now read this post and I am so sorry. Words can't express the pain you all must still be going through. I'm so glad you know our blessed Jesus. "When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that it's bigger than I". So thankful for the"Rock".

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  170. KristenOctober 13, 2014 at 5:52 AM

    I'm getting caught up on your blog and I just saw this post. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I'm praying that God is surrounding you and your family with his loving, comforting arms.

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